My 500th Post…

Oh universe, I so enjoy when you toy with me like this.
My 500th post falls in the Month of May. Amusing.

So, what to write on this momentous occasion? Well, I was planning a Part 2 on yesterday’s post, but I guess I’ll hold that for now and instead plot my thoughts on my upcoming trip to the 500 instead.
Seems more appropriate.

Truthfully, more than anything lately, as I prepare for my trip, I’ve once again been thinking of Dan.
It’s still strange to me that someone I was barely acquainted with had such a monumental impact on my life. But he did. And still does. Now, however, I’m finding myself smiling more when I think of him.

He was so easy to make fun of. The hair, the teeth, the shoes!! But it was always light-hearted because he himself was so self-effacing! Hell, he usually beat you to the punchline!

In all the years being around him, I never saw him angry, or grumpy.
He never shied away from a conversation or a photo.
Actually, my very last photo of him, which I took in Baltimore, he looked directly at me (my lens), and gave a thumbs up and a grin. So Dan.

Just two weeks ago, in the middle of the night, in a weird bout of insomnia, I sat and watched the entire Vegas race again. Then I read article after article, and threads on various forums and blogs, virtually reliving it, and trying, for some reason, to absorb every possible detail I could.

It’s like I’m still trying to find answers, but I don’t know what the question is.

I don’t want this trip to be maudlin. Maybe that’s why I’m overloading now. I don’t want to be sad (which of course is inevitable) I want to go and remember and celebrate the joy that Dan felt being at Indy, and specifically on that day a year ago.
Wow… so much has changed since last year. That just hit me right now.
Changes for me. Changes for the people I was with last year. Changes for the series.
Change.
Such a little word, with such big, scary consequences sometimes.

anyway, what was I talking about? oh ya, Joy.
I was so lucky last year. I had amazing access (for which I am always grateful) and managed to be bequeathed one of the final spots on the photographers stand in Victory Circle.
I was there when Dan’s car rolled in, against all odds, the little team that good.
There were tears, and cheers, and smiles and laughter.
It was such a genuine celebration of everything that is so good and powerful about this sport I have such a love/hate relationship with.

It’s funny, when I look back through those pictures, I don’t just look at Dan, but I take my time and focus in on all of the faces in the background.
Those expressions.
It’s like when I second shoot on weddings. I don’t watch the bride walk down the isle. I watch the groom watching the bride walk down the isle. Then I watch the mom of the groom, watching the groom watch his bride walk down the isle.
Those are the things I point out to people when they ask me about racing, or weddings, or photography, and why I am so passionate about all of those things.
Those expressions.
Those wonderful, unabashed, unaware they’re being watched, expressions.
Pure Joy.

Just this week, through a friend, I was again reminded how short and cruel life can be, and how quickly the rug can be pulled out from underneath you without any warning.
It’s so important to Carpe Diem!
Seize the day!
Be in the moment now.
Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Now.
Do the things, and surround yourself with the people, that bring you the most Joy.

So yes, I am packing up my rental car 2 weeks from today, and heading out on a “journey of Joy”, where I will drive with the windows down, and listen and sing along loudly to cheezy music, and think, and stop along the way to write, and rant, and visit friends, and eat great food, and laugh, and laugh, and LAUGH, and cry, and remember, and celebrate, and move forward to seize another day. And another. And another. Because I can.
And bookending all of that? Not one but TWO races.

How lucky am I?

hmmm… maybe that was the question I was seeking an answer to all along…
Thanks Dan ♥

The Month of Mayhem… Part 1

It happens every year. The clock ticks down, the calendar flips, and suddenly it’s May 1st.

Then, like a zombie apocalypse, they come crawling out of their holes.
The “Month of May” fans.
Completely accepted and welcomed back to the land of the living, despite being seemingly no different, ironically, than the much spurned upon “event fans” that show up to street races when the IndyCar circus comes to their town.

This 30 day (er, I guess 27 day) mass hysteria makes me a little, no actually, a lot sad.

So much ramped up excitement. So much amped up spending of money. So much focused effort, exhilaration, and disappointment for just one race. Hell even our weekly stalwart radio show, Trackside, turns into a nightly chitchat.

Yes I get it, it’s a historic race (granted now it’s mostly a manufactured-drama filled couple of weeks leading up to a race that has lost some of the mystique of her glory years) And yes, it’s tradition for many drivers, fans and families. But it’s just ONE race on a schedule of many, and the myopic super support of it by both fans and the series is, in my opinion, not doing it or the series any favours! It sort of brings to life the “putting all of your eggs into one basket” theory.

Here’s my analogy:
The Indy 500 is Danica, all the other races on the circuit are the rest of the drivers in the field fighting for a headline or an interview.

We all (except for the fanica’s) remember how frustrating it was until this year to be a fan of anyone other than Danica. Well, as a fan of many of the other races on the schedule, I feel that same sense of frustration mixed with envy. I want MY driver/race to be hyped up and appreciated too!

Those tuning in right now, with no back story, may look at the state of the line up and wonder “what the fuck happened?” “Who is this guy/gal?” “Where is that guy/gal?!” Those listening to the “stories” breaking right now are probably scratching their heads.

Then again, I suspect the real truth of the matter is they’re just not paying attention to any of it actually. It’s more about the tradition and what was then what is.
The glory years. The past great races, finishes and champions.
It’s about the “then” rather than the “now”… until race day, when all the pomp and circumstance will be rolled out exactly has it has been for decade upon decade, and the race will take place in the vacuum of that one day.
And then it will be over.

Then there will be a flurry of sad faces, and “is it May yet?”‘s, and “only 364 days to go” and “well, see you next year” and then they’ll be gone again, dragging their zombie carcasses back into the shadows…

But here’s the thing. If you are just tuning into the season now, coming out of your yearly hibernation for the “Month of May” then disappearing again, then you, again in my humble opinion, have and are missing out.

There is a whole season of real challenges, and interesting storylines, fantastic racing, and dramatic finishes, and feel good podiums, and bitter rivalries, and heartbreak, and triumph. And it all takes place before and after the Month of May. And all of these “other” events, believe it or not, can actually enhance the Indy 500 if you allow yourself to be fan for more than just one month, or one day or one race.

ok, enough with this fluffy bunny crap…

It’s just not my style. And that’s a good thing. I think the more “flavours” that people come in, the better. While I may not suit most people’s tastes, and I accept that, there are some who would gladly order me off the menu every time.
I think there is a place for all of us in the IndyCar community. I don’t tell the cheerleaders and Pollyanna’s to stop talking, or cheering, or supporting the series in their particular way. I think their voices are equally important as mine. Just like them, I love racing, IndyCar in particular.
So why is it so wrong to expect the same respect in return?

So I started to write this last weekend. Then I stopped cause the moment had passed. But I’ve mulled it about a bit more now because I keep seeing more and more fan on fan, and fan on media bashing, and well, this whole “no negativity” movement has a very familiar koolaidish ring about it.

So, here goes… My “2 Alexander Keith’s Cider on a patio on a Sunday afternoon fueled” take.*
(*this excuses all grammatical errors and egregious spelling mistakes)

I remember the days of drivers/owners being fined for speaking up, or against the party line. I also remember the days of pitchfork in hand type attacks on fans who spoke their mind, and for the most part the truth, but out of line with the blinder wearing über positive “the series can do no wrong” gang.

That series? Champ Car

Hell, I was a diehard Champ Car supporter, and yet I was shunned by fellow fans when I went off script and started to see and point out the obvious cracks in the dam wall. I was even threatened with litigation by a team owner after being “turned in” by a fellow fan (and now former friend) following a light-hearted discussion over beers upon my return from a race where I discovered that all was not right in Babylon (turned out to be a false threat as what I had heard was true, and he knew it) (and really , you’re gonna threaten to sue a fucking FAN over a conversation in a bar that you weren’t even present for?!)

All because I saw that things weren’t as rosy as they seemed, and pointed out that there needed to be some major broken things fixed behind the scenes (where I had the privilege and disadvantage of being privy to) I even had the gall to make mention of the whispers of a series merge months before it happened.

Saddest part is I was right (I wish I wasn’t) Best part was I was prepared for when the walls came tumbling down. I wasn’t shocked or in denial crying from behind my rose-colored glasses. I accepted the situation I, and many others, had been expecting, and picked up and transitioned with the teams to the newly merged series.

So here we are years later. In the era of “full transparency” and yet once again there is an underlying surge of “attack the naysayers” rising to the surface.

Here’s the thing. Nothing changes or improves by blind acceptance of the status quo. And blaming the fans or media for yearning for more or better is like blaming the victim in an attack for being in at home when the robbers arrived.

Do you go back to a restaurant that served you a mediocre meal, with bad service? Subsequently do you recommend that restaurant to others? Would you like to be told by other patrons or by the restaurant staff/owners that your undercooked food and lack of refills were your fault? or the fault of another patron who complained or made a suggestion to improve the experience? I think not.

If people are, for lack of a better description, “bitching” about things, then at least they still care. And that’s a GOOD thing. This fear based “don’t say anything negative cause you’ll break it” attitude doesn’t do anything good for anyone. What it does is mute or chase away the people who actually care.

Stop making excuses. Acknowledge the problems and fix them! But don’t blame us for them!

Do you really think sponsors are turning away from the series because the 20 dedicated fans and remote media who set their alarm on a Saturday morning to “watch” a bunch of dots swirl around a track map voice their displeasure on twitter that as per usual, or at the very least more often than not, it wasn’t working? (just one example of a common complaint)
Really???

Maybe they’re not interested because the coverage of the all of the sessions except for mostly tape delayed/highly edited qualifying and the race are WATCHING DOTS SWIRL AROUND A TRACK MAP!! Where is the return on investment there!? (again just one example)

Yes I see fans and journalists calling the series to the mat more often lately. But I also see those same folks sending out the rally cry to support and solicit sponsors, and buying/promoting specific products and services specifically because they are on a side pod.

They are also the ones who spend their weekends jumping thru hoops to find coverage via links and secret streams to support and cover the events they can’t attend personally.

They’re the ones buying tickets and swag and paying thru the nose for airfare and gas to keep the series in business for your entertainment

So go ahead sycophants and Pollyanna’s; blame the us for caring. Hell, while you’re at it, blame us for wanting more and better. But please don’t blame the us for the series’ shortcomings. They’re taking care of that all on their own.

Sao Paulo Indy 300 *pre-taped blog*

Real life dictates that I have to work again this (ironically to earn more $$ for races) so I’m outta here for the weekend kids. (huge sigh of relief for many I’m sure)

Was gonna make a heroic effort to get back in time to watch the race somewhere on Sunday, but alas, my motivation to do so has been dampened slightly. (besides, I’m not the one driving, so it’s out of my hands)

But I’m sure the race will be GREAT! and everything will be AMAZING! and the production will be FAN-fucking Tastic! And you’ll all hold hands in a circle and sing koombyah at the end, weeping with positivity!!

So in my place, I leave you all with this:

Enjoy the race everyone!

and if you don’t, remember… big brother is watching you!!! So just keep it to your fucking self

ciao!

2012 Grand Prix of Long Beach *live* blog ;-)

I’m actually getting watch the race with friends, on a large screen in HD! Woot! oh and there is alcohol and barbeque involved… so this will be a little disjointed (don’t want to be completely anti-social) and maybe a little edgier than usual

Pre-show… so far so good. Love that they have given time to
Oh Hinch… we love you kid.

mamma and poppa Hinch sighting in the background of the interview with M.Andretti

Poor Robin… who the fuck is calling the schedule from the truck? He gets boned every week now! LOL! and is no one in his ear letting him know there are folks like .. oh I don’t know, Randy Bernard, behind him???

Ok… I think I’m going to stick to twitter for most of this… maybe update later.. LOL.. (had 3 Mike’s hard for breakfast, and 4 strips of bacon… ) (I’m already tipsy)

Ok… lets’ start this SHITSHOW™!!

Looking good!…. Lined up two by two!

GREEN GREEN GREEN!!

Dario got the jump… oooh Josef not letting him go! Atta boy! Oh damn….
Can’t win the race on the first lap Josef… Credit to him for trying, but damn… ;-(

hmmmm….looking at the replay, I’m not convinced that was entirely Josef’s fault. He had the line and was ahead of Dario into the corner. Dario, being the veteran should have conceded and gotten the position back.

#bobism #1 for the race: Becky Gordon = “Betty”

Woot!!! Simon got around Dashley!
And now Sato and Dixon burn by him… too fucking funny! Suck it Dashley.
Funny how he is conceding to all the other drivers, but took out Josef… #karma

sorry… sticking to Twitter for the remainder… will go back thru my stream and pick out the highlights…

2012 Grand Prix of Alabama *live* (post-delayed) blog ;-)

Ok… so here we go, first race out of the gate for the newly monikered NBCSports Network. (which absorbed Versus over the winter)

I’ve gotta tell you, after yesterday’s lacklustre qualifying show, I didn’t hold out too much hope for today’s show.

Seriously, did anyone else think they had tuned into a Golf broadcast yesterday? Awful. Just awful. No context, no excitement. The only time the commentators seemed to have any energy was when Power got dinged for his fast lap, and they started discussing the first “controversy” of the year and that Beaux Barfield was in the hot seat. If I wasn’t already familiar with the series and the format of qualifying, I would have A) thought “what the fuck am I watching?” and B) had ZERO motivation to tune in today.

Now, on the plus side, every commercial break was Indy-centric, and featured our drivers. and NO DANICAN’T! Woot Woot! Now if only we could lose the Ninja commercial…

So on to today, race day…

and so it continues…

Yes kids, good news to some, bad news to others, it seems you are stuck with me for a while longer.

Full disclosure: So I started to write this up earlier this weekend, and was going to finish up during the race, figuring it would be a festival of beautiful wide shots of the gorgeous facilities, and cutaways to filler reports to make up for the snoozefest of a race. Oops… misjudged that one! (and thank fucking god for that!)

so… on to the bloggy blog… there is no rhyme or reason to this one… some of you have been asking me about my trip, so these are just some random thoughts based on some notes I jotted down over the weekend. For those of you that come here for racing snark and sass… just skip over this one.