soon…

Remembering the good times…

“How lucky I am, to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
– A. A. Milne

We are so lucky to have this amazing sport, and these amazing drivers to cheer on, and root against, and champion and befriend.
But some days, it doesn’t feel that lucky does it?

October, especially after this year, will be forever plagued by sadness and remembrance of young lives lost too soon.
#lionheart #ironmanmike #redglovesrule
But it will also prompt us moving forward to look back on the happy times and memories, which will eventually outweigh the devastating feelings of loss.

Motorsports writer Andy Hallbery has done just that this year, as we mark the 12th anniversary of the death of Canadian open wheel phenom Greg Moore, looking back on some of the personal, funny and mostly mischievous memories still held so dear by those closest to him at the time, and still missing him to this day.

Max Papis, Tony Kanaan, Dario Franchitti, Greg Moore

Greg Moore, part 1. Mark Webber remembers
http://www.motorsportretro.com/2011/10/greg-moore/

Greg Moore part two: A day in the life – five go mad in Florida
http://www.motorsportretro.com/2011/10/greg-moore-2/

Max Papis: “Superheroes always wear red gloves”
http://www.motorsportretro.com/2011/10/max-papis-greg-moore/

Remembering Greg Moore: Champ Car’s Brat Pack having the time of their lives
http://www.motorsportretro.com/2011/10/greg-moore-99/

Greg Moore, Part 5: From the Heart
http://www.motorsportretro.com/2011/11/greg-moore-crash/

Thanks to all that contributed their stories and memories and especially to Andy at http://www.motorsportretro.com for writing them up and sharing them with all of us

Here’s a link to my post on the 10th anniversary, with additional video and story links

The “right” way to grieve…

First of all, if anyone has the audacity to question or judge your grieving process, give them a message from me:

“Take your fucking head out of your ass jerkwad, we’ll grieve however the hell we please!”

In other words, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Likewise there is no one way to grieve. Trust me, in my 46 yrs on this planet I’ve experienced a lot of loss, some more recent than others.
Each time my grieving process is different. My needs are different.
And each time, some “good intentioned” jacktard has questioned my process.
I’m not crying enough. I’m crying too much. I’m taking too long. I’m over it too quickly.

Bite me.

I see a lot of my friends struggling with their own process. Stop beating yourself up! Just let it happen in a way that is organic to you. (more on this later…)

Slightly related to this, last night I was asked “why are we having a fundraiser for 2 kids who’s father made 2.5 million dollars” in a conversation with someone, the counter argument being, “why not raise money for head injuries”

Totally valid question.

My answer, in a couple of 140 character tweets was as follows:

‘I think it’s just a knee jerk reaction by a shocked community that feels helpless…People feel the need to do “something”, want to help in some way. The auction started w/one driver (Graham) and snowballed. Some people are going to donate, some are going to buy, some of us won’t be able to do more than buy a sticker/wristband but selfishly we will all feel “better” for having done “something” which will appease our “guilt” for surviving. Make sense?”

Today I had time to think about it a little more on my commute, and I wish to expand on my answer.

What is there to add…?

“stay down Rocky!”

You know those scenes, in those boxing movies, where the boxer is bloodied and beaten to a pulp, yet keeps somehow stumbling to his feet only to take another devastating blow? Well, I’m laying on the mat wondering how… wondering where the strength to get back up is going to come from, as I reel from the latest sucker punch life has cold cocked me with. (it’s been a tough couple of months personally)
Selfishly, this post will be more about my perspective than a retrospective of Dan (there are many awesome, and much better written tomes out there for that, in fact Robin Miller and Marshall Pruett’s pieces today come immediately to mind)

So bear with me, as this is the first time I am attempting to unjumble my brain and throw some thoughts down on “paper” in more than 140 characters since yesterday, so this could get lengthy/wordy and non-sequential…

Baltimore delayed…

I had every intention of sitting down tonight and doing a mega wrap up of what was truly an extraordinary weekend. Unfortunately my race weekend “happy place” bubble was cruelly burst upon walking through my door in the wee hours of this morning.

My beloved furry companion of 21 yrs took his final sleep over the weekend while I was away, and it has left me feeling rather unraveled at the moment. While I knew he was on the white flag lap of his journey, I had hoped to be there with him when the checkers waved.

So I ask for patience my friends, as I sort through my emotions alongside my photos of the weekend and collect my thoughts.

Life’s gonna be a little sad for a while…