First of all, if anyone has the audacity to question or judge your grieving process, give them a message from me:
“Take your fucking head out of your ass jerkwad, we’ll grieve however the hell we please!”
In other words, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Likewise there is no one way to grieve. Trust me, in my 46 yrs on this planet I’ve experienced a lot of loss, some more recent than others.
Each time my grieving process is different. My needs are different.
And each time, some “good intentioned” jacktard has questioned my process.
I’m not crying enough. I’m crying too much. I’m taking too long. I’m over it too quickly.
Bite me.
I see a lot of my friends struggling with their own process. Stop beating yourself up! Just let it happen in a way that is organic to you. (more on this later…)
Slightly related to this, last night I was asked “why are we having a fundraiser for 2 kids who’s father made 2.5 million dollars” in a conversation with someone, the counter argument being, “why not raise money for head injuries”
Totally valid question.
My answer, in a couple of 140 character tweets was as follows:
‘I think it’s just a knee jerk reaction by a shocked community that feels helpless…People feel the need to do “something”, want to help in some way. The auction started w/one driver (Graham) and snowballed. Some people are going to donate, some are going to buy, some of us won’t be able to do more than buy a sticker/wristband but selfishly we will all feel “better” for having done “something” which will appease our “guilt” for surviving. Make sense?”
Today I had time to think about it a little more on my commute, and I wish to expand on my answer. Continue reading
