Iowa Corn Indy 250 *live* blog

It’s 2:30pm on Sunday afternoon, and I am chewing glass and sticking hot pokers in my eye! Oh no wait, I’m watching the pre-show on ABC…

How the fuck have I managed to get my timing so wrong this year. Every race I’ve physically been at… NBCsports. Every race I’ve had to suffer through at home? ABC. :facepalm:

oh well, it is what it is. We all know it sucks. Can’t really do anything about it at this point. Thankfully they are down on the grid with presenters that don’t sound like they are doing commentary for a funeral procession. Moving on…

I’m officially “off duty” for the race so I’m enjoying an adult beverage (Spanish Gluten Free Beer I smuggled home from the US) and being a spectator! and I have the most hysterical, kinda” ghetto chic” set up, but it works!
*click pic for details*

ghettosetup

This will be a stream of consciousness post… what I’m watching, what I’m thinking, etc…

Grid  Run! … er… Grid walk!… er… Grid Saunter… :sad trombone: these people are NOT fun.

Epic photobomb by Josef Newgarden. Love that kid! Go get em J-New!
*nope, that doesn’t work, sorry for trying that Josef*

bwahahaha!! Some poor bastard is dressed like a big red Powerball and is wandering aimlessly in the background on the grid like he’s lost.
Thought bubble of the Powerball dude “you get to go to a race they said, you’ll get in free they said … FML”

Jeepers Creepers, looks like we have weepers… #iowacorn250 #indycar #itsanOvalthing

and commercials… lots of commercials… What’s going on on IndyCar Radio… Oh lots of excited commentary and talk of strategy! Neato! What a concept!!
(oops… is my sarcasm showing?)

oh, the broadcast is back… Why does ABC try to make all of their packages so fucking “dramatic”. Here’s a tip: People like exciting, fun, funny! Save the poignant shit for when it’s appropriate.

“Start your Corn Ethanol powered engines”… really? Are we still using that? I thought we switched to A) Cane Sugar Ethanol years ago and B) a new formulation last year…

Green Green Green!

The radio guys are losing their shit!
The ABC crew is… ah fuck it, I’m muting them. I don’t care that the radio is ahead of the tv broadcast by like 2 laps. I’ll feel like a psychic! :-p

Hinch takes about a lap to do it, but gets around Will Power for the lead and says “see ya eh!”

Lap 19: Hinch has got a 1.4 second lead over Willy-P, Marco was holding steady in 3rd, but TK was on the hunt and got him. RHR is carving his way up thru the field.

Lap 26: Carpenter is now up to 4th, getting around Marco.

A quick look through the field: Big Movers EJ and Josef. (4 spots each) Big losers: Saavedra and Tagliani (dropped 4 spots each)

Great, everyone is on a commercial break at the same time. Let’s do pit stops! :facepalm:

*Sidebar* did I mention I had my first pacecar ride on an oval in Milwaukee? HOLYSHITBALLS. I have a whole new respect for ovals, and race car drivers, and race car drivers who drive on ovals. I also totally get why Mike Conway said ‘thanks but no thanks’. I was good after 2 laps.

and we’re back…

Before the stop, Ed was up to 2nd, Kanaan 3rd

Replay: Hinch wins the race off pit road, Big Willy-P jumps back up to 2nd, Ed, Marco, Oriol, Pag, Helio

Holy shit, did the crew stop for tea and biscuits in TK’s pit? dayum, he’s mired in 9th now. Not good. (not quite as bad as his teammate however)

Lap 64: They are battling all throughout the field. Bumping tires, diving up, diving down. Tag has somehow made his way up to 11th. (gonna guess good stop) Taku is up to 12th from 17th. Pagenaud is up to 4th!

Lap 74: Hinch is about to put Bourdais a lap down… (not if Sebass has anything to do with it)

Lap 80: Simona de Silvestro is dead fucking last, 2 laps down. WTF?! Is someone punking her? Did they sneak a SLotus into her car over night? Did she get the ONE Chevy engine that isn’t fast? I don’t get it. Last year, we could explain away the lackluster performance by referring to the boat anchor in her car. This year? Just big question marks. Something has got to click over there. She is way better than this.

Wow, when they miss a turn on this track, wash up, or bobble, they really pay for it. Dropping several spots through traffic.

Someone needs to remind Graham that he “isn’t” testing in Nascar this weekend. Rubbin AIN’T racing in IndyCar . That is some seriously dirty driving by this boy. He’s lucky he was banging sidepods with Servia, and not a less seasoned driver. I get that he is desperate for a result, but someone needs to sit him down later and say “Simmah down now!”

Graham is about to pass Marco! Yup, lets go to commercial…
(how do I know.. radio ahead remember ;-) )

We’re 109 of 250 complete. Holy shit, these races go fast when it’s all green.

I’m actually surprised “The Least” let the “boy wonder” by. I can see a battle coming up with them, that will end in tears for one or both…

Fuck… lost my feed. *Reboots the app quick* Good to go. *whew*

First round of green pit stops on laps 117-118. I will admittedly be very confused for the next few laps until it all cycles through.

Another commercial…

Back from commercial: “You have missed a LOT of great racing here at Iowa” – Marty Reid. Epic. Speechless.

We are 137 laps in, and turn 2 is becoming the “Bete Noire” of this race. Tristan Vautier washed up and kissed the wall but was able to continue, then a lap later Tagliani washed up high, kissed the wall,  spun and stalled on track. Tagliani is pretty good at the kiss, spin & stall. Almost an exact replay of his moment in Milwaukee.

Lap 143: Yellow flag, off strategy stops in progress. Pretty much everyone who is lapped or down the order came in, cuz.. why the hell not, you’re essentially just traffic out there at the moment anyway.

Lap 155: Debris caution. You know what I love? We can actually show our debris. *cough* Nascar *cough*

Tag is the first one officially out of the race. Apparently the damage was worse than first thought and the car is not drivable  :sadtrombone:

*sidebar* oh how I love when trolls attempt to take me on online. Come back again when your testicles drop… amateur.

Green Green Green!

holy squeeze play Batman… wheel to wheel game of chicken between Rahal and Hinch. Hinch says ‘homey don’t play dat’

Lap 174: RHR is up 3rd… guess they figured out their car overnight

Lap 190: so Bea becomes the 3rd retirement. Taku is out now too. Clearly the new Honda engines are not playing well with others…

Lap 194: Next (last?) round of pit stops is underway…

All but Wilson and Carpenter came in.

Sketchy pitstop for Hinch *seemed overly long* but he retains the lead.

Lap 216: Wilson ducks into the pits, Hinch takes over the lead, followed by RHR, Rahal, Kanaan, Pagenaud(!)

Lap 236: Hinch continues to lead, but the gap between him and RHR is dwindling as they all deal with traffic. hmm… when RHR catches him is it team orders or “have at it boys” ?

*sidebar* looks like a pretty decent crowd in the stands

Wow, nice stat from IndyCar radio. If, Hinch wins it will be the 5th different winner for Andretti on this track.

Lap 246: ouch RHR mired in traffic, no chance of catching Hinch to battle for the win at this point. Everyone is barking about the traffic not pulling over, but what the heck are they supposed to do? Tristan had to pull out to get around Simona, RHR just caught them at the wrong time and got boxed in. It’s called RACING not “pullovering”

WOOOOHOOOOO!! Hinch wins with a legit, dominant, no attrition or banzai moves race! He needed this, for a number of reasons. Way to put it all together kiddo!

Now I’m really sad I couldn’t get a flight to Iowa, but I’m looking forward to Pocono even more now.

Ooooh… interesting… the point spread between Helio (points leader) and RHR is 9 points. Guess Helio is really in favour of those heat races now huh?

Ok… off to see what everyone is talking about…

2 responses to “Iowa Corn Indy 250 *live* blog

  1. that was fun to read

  2. I’m late reading this … bored, wishing for non-NASCRAP racing, I surf my favorite sites …
    I’d wondered when a blogger, reporter or another would bring up that which I’d been wondering, as you did:
    “I don’t get it. Last year, we could explain away the lackluster performance by referring to the boat anchor in her car. This year? Just big question marks. Something has got to click over there. She is way better than this.”

    I hope that someone TELLS us why Swiss Missile is adrift. Does she need a wonderful engineer like Craig Hampson?

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