and in it’s place… emptiness

So I was driving along the lakeshore today. I saw all the banners on the light standards for the Grand Prix. To be honest, I’m not fussy on the white, orange & blue colour scheme. The banners looked faded out already. They don’t draw your eye to them. Should have gone with the black and silver. *shrug*

More notable however, was that the Thunder alley grandstands are in place already, and the additional fencing and concrete are ready to be placed. This should have made me squee, given me goosebumps, prompted me to jump on line as soon as I got home to rally the troops and spread the good news. Instead I just looked on silently as I drove past and thought “meh” whatever…

I told two of my “non race” friends what transpired a couple of weeks ago. They were both as disappointed and as sad as I was initially and found it reprehensible. (I’m not sad anymore. I’m still disappointed mind you) They both agreed with my decision to cut ties. One thought however that I should shout from the rooftops what happened and expose the bastards. LOL!

I won’t be doing that for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I’m not going to stoop to that level. As easy as it would be for me to go there (and come out the other side smelling like a fucking rose!!) what would be the point? Would I gain anything back that I have lost? no. Would it change anything that has happened? no. Would it change anything in the future? no.

The biggest reason not to expound on anything is that I don’t want to be responsible for ruining this for anyone else. Simple as that.

It’s ruined for me now. No matter how I try to motivate myself to care about Champ Car anymore, I just don’t. I’m apathetic towards it. I don’t feel like writing about it. I don’t feel like reading about it. I don’t feel like talking about it. I’m trying to work on a couple of articles for CCworld.net, and I can barely keep from rolling my eyes and screaming “who the fuck cares??? Why am I bothering??” Fuck, I even created this blog so I could have a place to talk about the series away from all the sheep, and big brother prying eyes and now I don’t even care to do that. *shrug* It all just pisses me off now. What a waste of time and money and effort all these years.

Anyway… I’ll still watch the races and cheer Paul on. Then when he’s done. I’m done.

Ok.. this has been an excruciatingly long day. I worked two jobs & haven’t had anything to eat besides a yop and 3 date newtons, so I need to forage for dinner, then put my feet up and watch the House season finale.

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