drive by brain purge…

Watched the Star Mazda race from Toronto this morning (me luvs my PVR) Hot damn! It was just as enjoyable this time around! (I was semi paying attention in the media centre that day while writing). Those kids are scrappy! Bodes well for the Atlantics in coming seasons and of course Champ Car down the line.

So here’s the thing… Is it wrong that I’m enjoying a little vindication as others are finally being enlightened to the propaganda and agenda’s? The best part is that I am so far removed from all of this both online and off having cut all ties, that it can’t even remotely be pinned on me! ahh sweet justice.

That said, I find it all very sad. There was a reason I never made public what happened to me. There was a reason I never told any of the GTA gang what happened. I just told them I could no longer be associated with them or the site, and that I had my reasons. Partially, because I knew I could never speak freely around them ever as there were moles in the group reporting my every thought. But mostly because I didn’t want to see the disappointment and disillusion on their “everything is hunky dory because so and so says so” faces when they discovered the truth.

Well Oh my… how that curtain has been pulled back. it’s like a traffic accident. You don’t want to look, but you just can’t turn away. It’s painful to watch. Seeing friendships publicly dismantled. Hero’s on pedestals tumble. Lines drawn, the fanbase divided yet again. Good god people. This is the shit that fuels the off season. This is not the shit that should be taking over fan forums on a fucking race weekend. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RACING???? Used to be a time when we would discuss the sweet performance of the cars and the triumphs and slumps of the teams and drivers. The intricacies of the tracks. The successes and downfalls of the events, with intelligent and respectful back and forth conversations that inspired solutions and support and coming together for a common goal.

Now it’s who’s the bigger, better, more connected, more famous/popular “right” fan, and politics and name calling and conspiracy theories and cliques. And who said what and what does it really mean, cause god forbid anybody should actually just fucking state something out right and mean it at face value. No, now it’s all circular fucking riddle speak that needs to be decoded, and placing blame and pointing fingers and sycophantic double talk reiterating the party line. It’s about getting your voice heard while tearing everyone else down. It’s about bullying anyone who thinks outside your particular box. It’s about dividing, and quieting, and sweeping things under the rug, and secrecy and back stabbing and oneupmanship. It’s disgusting and vile and needs to be stopped.
Gone is the inspiration and the desire to help the series grow and acheive. In it’s place is the cancer of complacency, the tumours of frustration and anger, and the final death knell of the fans whose ideas and support have been pushed aside and away one too many times, who are walking away never to return.

What’s the solution? Who knows. I guess part of it is the mutiny we are seeing take place. We have seen it more subtly over the years. (there is a reason there are now so many fan forums out there rather than just one or two big ones) But now, now it’s taking centre stage, and it’s raw and it’s ugly and when it all comes down to it there are no real winners. Just a bunch of bloody, battered, disillusioned losers. We all lose. The series loses. The teams and drivers lose. The events lose. The fanbase loses. We lose superficially as a group of fans and deeply as people who discover yet again that humans are flawed and betrayal and ego and jealousy cut like a machete.

Don’t get sucked in! Get out of the pool before it’s too late. Find your own voice again. I did! Rediscover the reason you became a fan in the first place. Find new reasons to be a fan if the old ones are far and few between. March to your own beat. Believe in your own fandom. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Trust yourself and only yourself. Gut instincts. We have them for a reason. Walk away, quiet your soul, breathe then come back.

Find your passion. Find the racing. Nothing else matters.

(I don’t know if any of that made sense, but the fingers just kept clickity clacking so I went with it)


5 responses to “drive by brain purge…

  1. So sad, yet so true. Well said.

  2. Your fingers did a great job of expressing what a lot of feel, see and hear out there. I’m glad you found away to express yourself without being blasted by others. I very much enjoy reading what you have to say and will visit more often.
    Cheers to you!

  3. But Meesh, you’re blog is my escape.

  4. Crap, that’s “your blog is my escape”. Where’s the edit button? Where’s the edit button?

  5. Ugh… I have to figure out how to thread comments.

    Steven: yes, and thank you

    Laceypines: woohoo! Thanks, welcome and I’ll try to keep it interesting.

    Yack: too funny. I got the gist the first time (unfortch only I have access to the edit button) (by the way, thanks for that, it’s a lovely compliment)

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