Road Runner Turbo 300 *live blog*

hmm… well first off, I can’t help but snicker at the irony of the word turbo in the title since I bore witness to the final running of the turbos last weekend…

I am sitting in my livingroom “listening” to the race. Yes kids, this is what I as a mac owning, Canadian open wheel fan have been relegated to. “listening” to races on my computer. Race Control is PC only. The free “leader cam” won’t load for some reason, and TSN in it’s infinite “screw you” to race fans in Canada is airing the race at 12:30am… Nice to see they treat IndyCar as shittily as they treated Champ Car.

– We’ve been informed that the call to start engines is being delayed to 5:20pm (EDT)

– a few minutes ago the #19 of Mario Moraes was wheeled onto the grid. The worked over night, got a couple hrs sleep and were back at the track in the wee hours this morning fitting the car with new brakes, new suspension, new engine, (the engine was cracked), new front wings, new left sidepod and rear wings. Essentially they had to rebuild the entire car. Heck the only thing they did not have to replace was the right side pod. Gotta love Uncle Dale. Anyone who wishes ill will towards him or his team deserves to have his head shoved deeply up his ass.

– on the bright side I’m only having to “hear” princess perma pout gush about her earth shattering, cancer curing, win… (ok… I’ll stop now…)

– should I try a drinking game? take a shot every time they mention her and the motegi win? fuck, I’d be shitfaced before the end of the first lap.

5:18pm (EDT)

I’ve got video kids! woohoo Green 3rd time by. It’s 1 degree celcius warmer here in Toronto than it is in Kansas

5:20pm (EDT)
Bernoldi hit something or someone… (don’t know, I get whatever the director decides we pleebs watching for free deserve to see…) Tire change, nose change, back on track. First yellow out of the way. (wonder if this will be the caution barnburner the Indy lights race was?)

5:24pm (EDT)
pretty much all the “transitioning” drivers have come in for fuel on lap 5. Might as well. Fuel strategy seems the way to win these things… *snicker*
Where’s my beer btw?

5:26pm (EDT)
Green, green, green!
Camara is racy in the middle of the pack.

5:28pm (EDT)
this is fun… the commentary is yelling about a bunch of cars I can’t see. LOL! But at least it’s more scintilating than watching Briscoe drive around by himself for half an hour in St. Pete’s

5:31pm (EDT)
Bruno is making some ground! sweet.

5:33pm (EDT)
22 of 200 laps?? Gawd… this is agonizing…

Lap 23
Will Power tests the safer barrier… he seems fine, car is not. Apparently he’s stuck in the car.
His day is done. ah, there he is, out of the car. Go relax and stay warm Willy. (just don’t have a glass of that AU wine… trust me… it’s swill!)

5:37pm (EDT)
Nice. This is what Canadians have to pin their open wheel hopes and dreams on . Marty Roth, who just tried to commit vehicular manslaughter on pit road, hitting the tire changer with his lawn dart, er… Dallara.

Lap 28
Justin Wilson is in the lead!! What a coup! How many seconds will it take Dixon to smoke his ass on the restart? I’m thinking not many…

5:42pm (EDT)
LOL… apparently I was right. Oh and in case you were wondering, Danididbutwon’tagain is dropping like her usual stone. (but at least I get the pleasure of watching it… LOL)

5:44pm (EDT)
Can someone explain to me why Marty Roth has a ride and Paul Tracy and Alex Tagliani are doing housework?

5:45pm (EDT)
Will Power gives his usual “deer in the headlights” post incident interview. (I think he’s autistic)

5:48pm (EDT)
Bernoldi seems to be doing Pit stop clinics. Everytime the camera catches pit lane, he’s driving down it. Pour bastard.

5:50pm (EDT)
Go EJ go! 9th spot at lap 52. (Wilson in 12th)

5:52pm (EDT)
Marty Roth done for the day. (is it just me or does he sound slightly inebriated?)

5:55pm (EDT)
LOL Moraes is a human chicane. Poor bastard.

6:00pm (EDT)
the kids are starting to cycle through their green flag pit stops…
Car has spun on pit lane… Milk and donuts! You go girl! (It’s so nice to see the other racing ladies emulating Danica…)

6:02pm (EDT)
something wrong with RHR’s car… something is wrong with Camara’s car… both still sitting on pitlane. Apparently Bernoldi stopped for coffee and a snack on the last one…

6:07pm (EDT)
So, let me get this straight, Holmatro is the official safety equipment supplier but NONE of our Safety Team personnel were brought over post unification? *shakes head* Seems rather silly to buy the trailers, have the equipment, but not have the guys who were the innovators come along for the ride… *steps down off soap box*

6:10pm (EDT)
I need to develop a drinking game. This is mindnumbingly boring. No really.
OH wait! something exciting! RHR is back on track.
OH Shit! Viso and Schecker connect… Well damn… careful what you wish for huh?
there is spinning (apparently) and damage (apparently)
Have I mentioned the “leader cam” sucks!! At least I can watch the hightlights on Speed news hours before the broadcast here…

6:15pm (EDT)
Pit stops! ooh… Dixon’s was “sizzling” apparently. (kudos to the radio guys for trying to spice this up)
Conquest is not having a good day. Camara has no radio, Bernoldi is now behind the wall, but they’re still attempting to get them back on track. (hey, all track time is essentially practice time right?)
Vitor Meira is done. 80 starts/0 wins… the streak continues

6:18pm (EDT)
cripes they run under yellow for looooooooooong stints…
LOL… Vitor is pizzled. whooda thunk ‘crowding’ on pit lane would be an issue…

6:21pm (EDT)
uh oh… Viso is driving like a “European”. I love how they are commenting on it as if it’s a Champ Car thing. No… Champ Car has the same blocking/one move rules. European road racers however make up their own rules. Anyone who had the misfortune of getting behind Doornbos found that out the hard way last year. (sigh… I miss Doorknobs!)

6:29pm (EDT)
LOL… nice rundown of yellows: Bernoldi, Power, Viso/Scheckter. Hey how the hell else are our guys gonna get any face time right?

6:30pm (EDT)
*mocks surprise* a segment about Princess Perma pout and her Motegi win… *drink!*

6:37pm (EDT)
*wipes drool from chin* I swear I just nodded off…

6:39pm (EDT)
weeeeeeee… pitstops… this should be…
OH damn! EJ Viso is not making friends today. Stopped in the wrong stall. Unfortunately it was Carpenter’s stall, and Carpenter was on his way down pit lane… oops.

oooh… Buddy Rice is beating the snot out of his car. Apparently he’s not happy… damn that was a hard hit.

6:44pm (EDT)
now the field comes back in for their full pit stops. (everything got fubared when Buddy decorated the wall on lap 2) Uh oh… Princess Permapout is done for the day. wah wah wah… (she’ll still be the lead story on everything… don’t kid yourself…)

6:51pm (EDT)
So, Scotty somehow ended up a lap down?… *I’m so confused…*

6:59pm (EDT)
are we there yet????? holy crap!! I could have gone and made my dinner.
19 lap caution??? :bangs head on desk:
oh apparently Scooter isn’t a lap down… he’s just going to be in some serious traffic on the restart.

7:01pm (EDT)
Viso got a penalty. Camara is practicing his pit stops. Wheldon is on his way to finally shaking the monkey off his back. (and breaking the “repeat winner” record here)

7:04pm (EDT)
Buddy has a broken right front suspension. (and unfortunate choices in head gear)
Damn… Scooter is up to third!! with 17laps to go. … will he be the spoiler??

7:10pm (EDT)
Carpenter is coming to pit lane (quick, someone distract Viso!)

7:13pm (EDT)
Well done Wheldon! And how bout those transitioners? Wilson in the top 10. nice.

Carpenter… classy conversation.
“Idiot Viso” and the F-bomb all in one interview.
Did he suddenly forget that he is Ed Carpenter? Not exactly a great track record for skilled moves himself. Dick. It’s not like Viso did it on purpose. And why didn’t his (the inheritors son) crew figure out that the car coming into the pit wasn’t theirs and wave him away???

EJ Viso LOL… “I made a mistake” sweetly understated. hehe… he’s not the first to miss his pit stall and he won’t be the last. (hell, Kurt Busch missed his today in Talladaga, and he’s been doing this for quite a while)

7:25pm (EDT)
What the hell are those trophies? a bar of plexglass? I have more substantial kitchen utensils.

OK… enough of this. Gonna go write this up to make it sound way more interesting than it was.
On to Indy!


14 responses to “Road Runner Turbo 300 *live blog*

  1. Marty Roth and Kevin Lepage – Douchebags of the weekend…

  2. Who’s Kevin Lepage?

  3. NASCAR driver. Coming out of the pit lane at Talladega, he crossed the blend line onto the racing surface too early and pulled right in front of the main pack of cars, causing a 16-car pileup. Afterwards, he blamed the cars at speed for not pulling around him.

  4. Why does Roth have a ride? First and for most, because he funds it himself. I hear he is a multi-millionaire (apparently with a death wish). Perhaps, he is what Dale Coyne was in the 1980s and eventually will evolve into a loyal and committed car owner (not an owner/driver).

    I am not so sure CART was the innovators of the safety team. The at-the-site safety/hospital stuff was developed at Indy and CART saw the benefit and ran with it.

    I thought it was odd that TG bought the CC’s safety equipment, I always assumed that it was an asset buy to prevent any potential competitors from picking it up for cheap.

  5. BTW, Marty Roth is actually a lot better than he was 3 years ago (if you can image that).

  6. Required reading: “Rapid Response” by Steve Olvey. That will give you all the background you need on the traveling safety team.

    As far as the Champ Car equipment, my guess (uninformed) is that TG bought it to amplify the at-track resources of the Delphi Safety Team. Bringing the actual team members over would have been a duplication of existing effort; however, I would be extremely shocked if the Champ Car safety team members don’t eventually find their way onto the Delphi team.

  7. I’m well aware of the genesis of the Safety Team.
    And TG would have been stupid not to purchase the state of the art Medical trailers.

    I am just gobsmacked by the arrogance of not making room for and bringing Lon Bromley or Dr. Chris Pinderski over as well.

    Hope it doesn’t bite us all in the ass somewhere down the road.

    Phillips did a nice salute to the Safety Team

  8. I don’t think it was arrogance at all. The IRL’s safety team already has personnel in place and it’s in no way, shape, or form a Keystone Kops operation.

    The same concerns about the future were voiced when Champ Car canned Steve Olvey and Terry Trammell (particularly after they saved Alex Zanardi’s life when “lesser lights” might not have), but Bromly and Pinderski performed admirably in their absence. I think it would behoove us all to give the IRL safety team – which has been together for several years – the same benefit of the doubt.

  9. Can anyone explain the Forsythe livery on Marco’s car? Is that one in the same or a different business altogether?

  10. Completely different company. Nothing at all to do with unka Jerry… 😉

    Is one of the team sponsors that is rotated on the lesser Andretti’s sidepod throughout the season,

  11. Meesh!

    I just came across your blog and I totally love it! I had no clue you did this along with the OWW stories. Anyway I am really enjoying reading everything and by the way here are a few observations.

    1. I am not sure about Will being austistic, but the boy is color blind oddly enough. I wanted to use it for a story for for pitching opprotunities, but some people just didn’t like my ideas. Go figure!

    2. Roth has money that is the only reason he is racing. Team owner = Ride until they park ya!

    3. I am nervous as hell… I am having lunch with an Indy 500 winner tomorrow… Wish me luck 🙂

  12. ha! this is the politically incorrect stuff. The OOW stuff is the “legit” straight and narrow stuff. I totally thought I had pointed you over here before! *slaps forehead*

    I remember Will talking about that in an interview once, but I don’t remember why it came up.

    It would be nice if Roth stepped into the role of Team Owner and put someone who could actually get results in the car. *cough* PT *cough*
    Just sayin is all…

    oooh… sounds fun. good luck

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