sorry Eddie Goose-egg… just cause you think and want your race & track to be equal to, if not bigger and better than Indy, even going so far as to having to use kilometers to number your race (550K) doesn’t mean anyone else is buying it. It’s actually 228 laps/342 miles. Talk about a Napoleon complex… Jack ass.
Ok… that out of the way, I actually have the race on my tv on a secret alternative feed, so I don’t have to set my alarm for 3am to watch.
Green green green… 2 laps, clean so far.
Lap 7: I’m bored out of my mind already…
Lap 11: Super Mario does a little track graffiti with his Firestones. Nothing happens, they throw the yellow anyway. Everyone comes in to check for tire wear (after 11 laps???) Briscoe decides he would rather have the TCGR crew service his car. This is not acceptable to Dan Wheldon or his crew. Briscoe is shooed away. The Cap’n will not be happy. Briscoe has a drive through and a pit stop to go.
Lap 18: In a lesson in humility, Dale Coyne leaves Junky on track while the field pit. On the restart, many people blow by. Perhaps he’ll rethink calling his car and his team shit on air in future. He manages to hold on to 3rd spot, but only by mercy of yet another yellow. (I still have no idea why) That spot goes away as he pits under this yellow.
Lap 26 back to green… (apparently that yellow was caused by Manning having a fuel pump problem)
Lap 32: Viso update! Started dead fucking last, is now up to 13th! Go EJ go!
Lap 36: lots of talk about fuel saving already. snore. Ryan Hunter Reay is all over the track. He’s either racy or an accident waiting to happen.
Lap 40: Wilson’s front right suspension is seriously messed up. TV crew is saying no contact, race control is saying there was. However it happened, Justin managed to get his mangled car back to the pits and now has the evening off. Everyone comes in for fuel and tires. Strike that, Junky stays out again, further screwing Briscoe’s already fubared night
Lap 46: back from commercial. Wilson admits to touching the wall, Camara has lost power, Scheckter had an abominable pit stop. fun? Wow?!
Lap 47: restart, Briscoe gets his lap back, Bruno makes a mess of the leaders start, but everyone gets by.
Lap 49: Servia gets loose out of turn 2, hits the wall. Cookie joins J-Wil in the loser’s lounge for tea and crumpets. Scheckter and J. Andretti do some serious avoidance, nice job.
Lap 51: Still yellow… The Princess is having tire issues. They gained two spots on the last stop by only giving her fuel. Back firing bigtime. Briscoe is in for a full pit stop again, confusing the tv crew.
Lap 54: still yellow…. but EJ is up to 10th!! Go EJ Go!
Lap 56: Green Green Yellow! Mario Moraes tests his cajones of steel. Slides up the track into Schectker. Sheckter holds on. Mario does a full 360 on the infield, rights the car and gets back on track. LOL! Go Mario! Flat right front. Both cars come into the pits. No damage to Scheckter.
Lap 58: The pit bimbo just called Oriol by the wrong name. 🙄
Lap 65: Twinkletoes and the Iceman are battling “side by side” for the lead. Marco ‘spoil your race’ Andretti is trying to get in the mix, and RHR is all over the track trying to get in the mix.
Lap 77 : Twinkle toes, Dixon, Andretti the Least, RHR, kanoose, Capenter, Briscoe?? viso!!, Rice, Mutoh your top 10.
Lap 82: Magical Marty the moving chicane aids Briscoe in getting around Kanaan. Scheckter is done for the night. He is the most cordial driver when it comes to his post attrition interviews. Doesn’t lay blame or swear or stomp down pitlane. Pretty cool cat. I feel bad for his luck this season.
Lap 92: The princess is pitting on the green. All are concerned. (yawn)
Lap 96: The leaders all get racy going around Moraes. (are they nuts???)
Lap 98: Andretti the Least takes the lead during another melee with lapped traffic. (otherwise known as Marty Roth)
Lap 102: Pit stops: leaders in and out during the green. Twinkletoes violates the pitlane speed limit. (drive through penalty ensues) Briscoe has somehow battled back to the lead.
Lap 109: Briscoe in the pits. Milk & Donuts is leading the race!?!! Briscoes pit stop is lengthy as he has to replace his nose cone due to contact with RHR
Lap 113: Viso update: my boy is back down to 20th. No one knows why. Alot of speculation, but no answers. 😦
Lap 117: Back from commercial, Dixon regains the lead.
102 laps to go: Briscoe passes the Princess. The tv crew gets nervous. The world snickers imagining the screaming in her head.
85 laps to go: The princess in for tires. Lights them up leaving the pits. (smooth move exlax) Carpenter also in. Horrible stop.
82 laps to go: In case you were wondering, the following drivers are actually in the race despite ZERO mentions: Will Power, Graham Rahal, Vitor Meira, John Andretti, Enrique Bernoldi.
76 laps to go: Kanaan has a 17 second pitstop. Thanks for all your hard work, but you’re now screwed.
72 laps to go: Briscoe back in the lead.
63 laps to go: “Debris” yellow. Here come the pit stops
60 laps to go: leaders all in, Vitor assumes the lead.
57 laps to go: Still driving around under yellow for no apparent reason.
53 laps to go: Green waved off as Foyt whitewalls.
52 laps to go: Green green green
50 laps to go: the “debris” yellow has succeeded in getting the field bunched up and battling ‘side by side’ for the lead. Vitor still out front, followed by RHR, Dixon, The Least, & twinkletoes.
35 laps to go: apparently there is a power failure on part of pit lane. No one seems worried.
30 laps to go: Vitor is way out front (but has to come in again soon) Dixon just got around RHR for 2nd and The Least is hanging out on the highline again giving the commentators woodies.
24 laps to go: The Least passes The Iceman, exciting the commentators so much that they scream that he is the leader, forgetting all about Meira who is actually leading the race.
20 laps to go: Meira in, loses a lap. Hoping for clean race til the end
15 laps to go: Bernoldi into the wall. You can hear the sobbing from the cockpit of Meira’s car from here…
12 laps to go: no one hitting the pits yet…
10 laps to go: green green green The Least, The Iceman, Briscoe and RHR
6 to go: The Least and RHR get together. (saw that coming a mile away….) Andretti the Lesser comes over the radio and says “you’re grounded young man!” (ok not really, but that’s a lot of points he’s thrown away two weeks in a row)
1 lap to go: yellow white flags waving, the fans are again robbed of an exciting finish.
Checkers/Yellow: The Iceman Cometh… again. Twinkletoes & Briscoe ?!?! round out the top three.
Gotta feel for RHR. “majorly bummed”. Showed the replay again. The Least is lucky he didn’t flip. That car caught a little air and aqua planed a little. The jury is split on who’s at fault. I don’t like either of them, so my bias isn’t going to come into play here. Marco was taking the super high line all night until that lap, when he squeezed down on RHR. RHR was super squirrelly all night. I’m surprised he didn’t take someone out earlier. I place the blame equally on both. (leaning towards Marco…)
Wonder how the partner Coca Cola will feel about The Iceman chugging a Pepsi in the winner’s circle?
Newsflash: Graham Rahal finished an oval race!!
And on that note… it’s bedtime…