or as I like to call it the Coca-cola and gummy worm 200! (as that is my race snack of choice tonight)
Yes my loyal readers, I’m live tonight for the first time in a couple of races. I was working during Iowa and Richmond, and was actually too embarrassed to even bother commenting on them once I watched the tapes. (there aren’t enough negative descriptives to comment on them… especially Richmond. What a joke!)
Last weekend, as you know, I was live at The Glen, but since I was double dutying it as photog/writer, I was running around for a lot of the race, and thus unable to do live commentary.
So Tonight, you have the pleasure of my unedited, unabashed commentary. I’m sure you’re all thrilled.
So, we are just moments away from the start of the race, and we’ve already had the obligatory “Danica could win this” interview 🙄 Whatever… (note to broadcast team: there are other drivers… just thought you should know)
Hey didja hear??? Ana Beatriz just made history this afternoon with a legitimate win! but I digress…
According to the radio dudes, Tagliani could drive in place of Bernoldi in Edmonton. Interesting. That could be a relief to the Conquest team as I hear from reliable sources in the Conquest inner sanctum that Enrique is less than amicable to be around.
LOL… wow… nice “isn’t he important” feature of “The Least” arriving via helicopter.
and they’re GREEN GREEN GREEN!
Helio gets a nice jump.
Edit: oooh… BIG hit. Brisco and The Least! Apparently his cocky answer about not being tired doing the ALMS race and the oval was a little premature huh?
Not a good weekend for the Aussie’s again. Poor Ryan. Just gutted. Not your fault buddy.
Edit: Looks like the Penske boys are going to get the car back on track and try to get some points.
Edit: LOL… & they’ve already warned The Princess about blocking.
Edit: Those cars just do not look like they are stable on that surface. They look like they are skimming the surface. Speaking of looks… it looks like my readership may give the attendance at Nashville a run for their money. LOL! 10’s of fans in attendance!
Edit: Lap 30 – Back from commercial and twinkletoes is coming up on lapped traffic. He gets by with a bit of a struggle, as does The Princess and The Iceman.
Edit: wow… that’s sad news about Ryan Hunter-Reay’s mom. Sending get-well vibes her way. Hopefully they caught the cancer early. (major suckage… lost my mom to the big C 27 yrs ago on Monday, heart goes out to Ryan)
Edit: LOL! Helio throws the block on The Princess! Gets the wrist slap from race control. She tries again but he shuts the door, then Dixon gets her, then Kanoose gets her! BWAHAHAHA! Oh, and she just got warned by race control not to block Mutoh! BWHAHAHA! I’m enjoy that about as much as Doornbos terrorizing Seabass all last year with the “euro style” of racing (read: blocking)
Edit: Spread the jelly kids, AJ IV is Toast. No steering. Gonna try to fix it. (ya right… just park it with the other “handling” cars.
Edit: Lap 55 – Woah! Dixon and Kanaan get around Twinkletoes. Christ, that’s just ugly. The minute those cars get in close proximity they just lose all torque. What a mess.
Edit: Here we go, a bunch of cars are making stops. The Princess, Vitor the un-victorious, Wheldon in and out first. Now Kanaan, Helio and Dixon come in.
Edit: Servia is the race leader! Go cookie boy!
Edit: ugh… shitty stop for Cookie boy. Fucking fucking fuck. Get your shit together boys!
Edit: Bernoldi put on the spot by the radio guys! LOLOL! nice! “of course I’ll be back I have a contract! who said I wouldn’t??” bwhahahaha! Well Enrique, you might wanna rethink threatening not to race in future…
(oh btw… he ran out of fuel, came in, made some changes, lost the handling, parked it)
Edit: Kanaan slingshots past Dixon for the lead. This is really bushleague. The minute they hit a lapped car, they lose all speed. Awful.
Edit: ooh… Ryan hard into the wall. Ouch. No repeat for RHR tonight. Replay: just loses it on the corner and becomes a passenger.
Edit: I swear I’m nodding off… what a fucking snoozer this is. Ok.. restart… Come on Vitor! Get the Princess before the rain falls!!
Edit: Well, since I listen to the radio feed, I’ve just learned that Wilson is behind the wall with gearbox problems. Nice reporting there tv dudes… NOT.
Edit: Yes! LOL! Vitor is around The Princess!!!! as is Castroneves! (Panther team sends case of beer to NHL pits) yellow yellow yellow! Rain! Rain Rain! All 10 spectators run for cover!
Edit: ooh.. in a universal sense of irony, Castroneves is moved back behind the Princess as he “passed her under yellow” (somewhere in the UK PT is chuckling quietly to himself)
Edit: Kanaan is in for fuel, as is Helio ( for tires), the Princess and Carpenter too. Vitor too, but he lost places in the pits.
Edit: Dixon did NOT pit. So if it starts to rain again, Dixon just won this thing.
Edit: Grandstands are being asked to evacuate because of the weather (lightening)
Edit: Green Green Green! Helio is a crazy man!! Threads the needle between Kanaan and Moraes! Many replays as that’s the most exciting thing to happen in hours!
Edit: Dixon, Wheldon, Castroneves. Dixon and Wheldon on different pit strategy. Helio could pull this off if it stays green and dry as Dixon will have to pit.
Edit: Yellow Yellow Yellow! Rain Rain Rain! Strategy Strategy Strategy! Luck Luck Luck!
Edit: 7-11 team showing it’s frustration.
Edit: Red Red Red! serious deluge. Dixon’s strategist earns a serious bonus. Drivers out of the cars.
Edit: hehe… gotta love Kanaan.
Edit: bwhahaha! it wasn’t strategy at all! Dixon was supposed to follow Kanaan into the pits and missed the call! Wow. If you’re gonna screw up, this is the kind of screw up you should make.
Edit: It’s offical! Checkered flag. Race has been called. TCGR’s 100th victory. As Wheldon just said, sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good! haha! Wheldon sounds like Davey Jones.
Well, guess that’s it kids. Not the most exciting race, but a pretty funny turn of events at the end there. Now I get to go write it up for the masses.
Next week, we get back to real racing. But since only a handful of the current drivers have real racing experience, we could see a lot of clown car action again. (shout out to P-Dog again!)
OK… flipping to the Nascar race. Oh looky! Patreek is 35! (shakes head)
Oooh… IMS guys didn’t realize their mics were still keyed! LOL! Started talking about Marty Roth, but stopped short of any good commentary. damn!