Formula 1 – Shanghai – *live* race blog

Ok.. before I could even open my browser, the pre-race broadcast started with little pink nymphs prancing about on the grid… I snorted pop out my nose and started choking picturing pressdog’s reaction…

anyway… it’s 2-fricken-30am here. I was going to nap and then set my alarm and get up to watch, but I was wide awake until about 15mins ago. Great. I’ll probably nap halfway through the race.

I’m watching the international feed tonight as my SPEED channel is buggered. We have a little analysis of Lewis Hamilton between the Canadian dude in the studio and Gerald Donaldson via phone from somewhere,  this is going on over a video feed of Heikki K talking to some of his crew. That boy is chewing on his lip like it’s a meal. Geesh! Nervous much?

and we’re over to Rosberg, looking quite serious… oh, strike that, nice smile and a wave to the camera. “Hi Nico!”


LOL… video montage of shame from the last race of all the fucking ridiculous calls. Watching them all again reminds me of how pissed off I was then, and makes me wonder why I’m sitting here at a quarter to 3 in the morning to watch this circus.

blah blah blah… drivers want consistency… Should the stewards be former drivers? Commentators are all but volunteering Coulthard to step up. I’m sure he’s chomping at the bit to grab that role…

Shot of the crowd. Apparently there is a dress code today. All white. Looks like a big, bland pajama party. Oh that grandstand is multi-coloured! They didn’t get the memo.


and we’re back. it’s the “get to know the track” segment. Big arial view and now were onboard with Hamilton I believe for the fast lap. The colour is horrible. Looks like a yucky day. (chance of rain according to booth dude)

Kubica montage now. (wouldn’t it be hilarious if he snuck in there and won the season?) Lots of love for the big guy. (how tall is he btw? he looks like a giant) Apparently they asked Jacques Villeneuve his thoughts on the season and title battle, and he (JV) thinks that Kubica deserves the title as he has been the most consistent driver. (I love that they’ve mentioned JV so many times tonight you would think he is still in the damn series!)

*commercial* (and time to pee & get comfy)

back… montage of shame of Lewis running out of talent during this race last year and throwing away the championship. Can he clinch today? Not if the FIA has anything to say about it. (depends on whether or not Ferrari’s cheque cleared I guess)

3:00min countdown has begun. Rainstorm is 25K away… this could get interesting kids. Going through the line-up now. Interjecting with a little CDN Grand Prix update: not dead yet. Still in talks, could be on the schedule in 09… apparently the race organizers owe 20 million in previous fees. What??? Corruption by the organizers of the Montreal track/race??? :mocks surprise: Karma’s a bitch, bitch…

and they’re off… formation lap and crew grid sprint. (they scatter like bugs!)

Someone’s onboard radio… havent’ got a fucking clue what the dude just said. Something about the weather I think.

I can tell you right now, I will probably fall asleep at some point.

Kimi is on soft compounds, Hami is on hard.

quick shot of Lewis’ dad. Stressed much?

someone is smoking… no really, there is smoke billowing out from someone’s car

lights are out, clean get away, Lewis gets out front. Someone spun off with someone else… they must have got going again as there is no further word on them.

apparently it was Kov’s brakes that were smoking on the grid. He and Alonso have had a few wheel to wheel drag races already. Alonso got him though.

Oh, Trulli was the one that was involved in the melee off the start, apparently with Bourdais. Yup, replay from several angles, Seabass got into the back of Trulli and spun him around. Bourdais is at the back of the pack now and Trulli is driving around with a mangled car. Bourdais will spend the rest of the race planning his sports car career for 09.

Hamilton is pulling away nicely.

Trulli is done sir! Pulled into the garage and out of the car.

51/56 laps to go, it’s Hamilton, Kimi, Massa, Kova, Heidfeld


and we’re back.
49/56 to go…

A not very happy Trulli complaining to some woman who’s name I didn’t catch.

So… those large empty grandstands with the giant white letters… the point of those would be??

A little talk about Piquet and his lack of confidence, and perhaps lack of seat next season. Some guy named Ted just piped up from somewhere on pitlane (judging by the noise) about Kubica being told to keep pace with Vettel who is just ahead of him, but lighter on fuel.

Glock and Rosberg battling it out midpack for 12th position. Rosberg’s crew came over the radio to tell him to get around Glock as they are losing time. Do they think the drivers are just driving around aimlessly waiting for instructions or permission to pass?

ooooh big oversteer by Hamilton there. Keeps it on track.

Rosberg gets the job done, gets around Glock.

Lewis and Kimi keep trading fastest lap. Speculation that the first round of stops are coming up.

Piquet doing a little off roading.

Ferrari crew up on their feet. Massa is in first, followed by Alonso. Massa out in 8th.
McLaren crew is on their feet.

Hamilton in, as is Kimi. Hamilton came out in 3rd I believe.

Sutil is done. Something broke or blew up. He just drove off and parked it.

Massa is the only car on track on the softer compound.

Well… hello there Lewis’ brother. Aren’t you cute! I’m half asleep now, so I completely blanked on your name. Oh well. You may have been an hallucination… *yawn*

Kova in for his pit, as is Vettel. Kova comes out in 8th. Hamilton assumes the lead.
38/56 to go…

*commercial* Going to stand up and shake my limbs a bit.

and we’re back with 36/56 to go. Hamilton is pulling away nicely. Heikki is 6 laps longer than Alonso according to the Renault crewman.

my cat is perplexed by my still being up, and has retired to the bedroom without me. bastard.

Lewis says the car is “perfect”. Famous last words?

The commentators keep remarking that Kimi will essentially pullover and let Massa by for the points as they get closer to the end of the race. Could be hard to do with Kimi in 2nd and Massa in 4th, with Kubica in between.

*disclaimer* spelling and grammatical errors are expected from this point forward as I’m pretty sure I’m lapsing in and out of consciousness…

Kubica in for his pit stop. Wow… he really did go quite a ways on that load. And he’s keeping the same tires on. Weird. Came out in … 9th…

ugh… such a boring race! Seriously. Somebody must be battling somewhere on course! Show it to us damnit!
29/56 to go…

*commercial* do I dare move to a more comfortable chair?

and we’re back, 27/56 to go… Hamilton is still leading, Kimi is 6 sec’s back, Massa is 3rd (14 secs back) Kimi was catching Lewis, but got into a battle with the lapped Fisi. (complete with hand signals)

oooh… Coultard and Bourdais getting racy. (that’s code for banging into each other on track like wankers)

Nakajima gets air by pitting! Followed by Webber who had a strong start, but who’s race is falling away from him. :mocks surprise:
Glock in for fuel.

Massa also got held up by Fisi as well. May the “force” be with you… *snicker*

You know how when you’re driving and you all of a sudden realize you’ve arrived somewhere but don’t remember getting there? ya, that’s the mental state I’m in right now. LOL!

21/56 to go…

Oooh McLaren slowing! It’s Heikki. *whew* Right front puncture. Oh my, that’s seriously flat. Into the pits for him. Alonso is in for his last stop. Guess the field will start to cycle through again. Yup, the Ferrari crew is set up. Massa in. Comes out in … who cares…

Webber goes for a little excursion, gets control and back on track.

Hamilton and Raikkonen in for their final stops. Hamilton in and out quick and clean. Kimi out into traffic. 18 to go. Speculation that Kimi is going to slow his pace to allow Massa to get past.

Heidfeld in for his stop. Massa is reeling in Kimi. Rosberg in for his stop. Kubica in for his final stop. Quick stop. Out in 7th.

15/56 to go… Hamilton with a 12 sec lead over Kimi, who is slowing to let Massa catch him. too funny.

*commercial* (I’m starting to feel physically nauseous now… maybe I’ll just “rest my eyes”…)

and we’re back with 13/56 to go…

Kimi is practically going backwards to allow Massa to catch up, too funny. These booth guys are blathering on and on about something, but it’s all very monotone which is lulling me to sleep. I prefer my Varsha with his lilting baritone voice, and the squeals of the other two to jar me out of my slumber.

*commercial* (no idea what lap we’re at as I wasn’t paying attention)

the way things stand now, the championship is going to the final race. (seems to be a trend this year with all the series) of course it ain’t over till the checkers wave, so I’m not shutting the lid or the tv until then…

oh, we’re back… 9/56 to go… “this race has been as undramatic as last week was dramatic” … no shit sherlock! After watching the 1996 Surfers Paradise race this afternoon (yowza that was a good one!) this is like watching paint dry.

oh look, surprise, surprise, Massa just passed Kimi. But there are no team rules allowed… *cough* BULLSHIT *cough*

Heikki calls it a day with 6 to go. Serious brake issues today. With no points to be had, might as well pull in and pack her up.

Glock waves hello to Fisi on his way by. BWAHAHAHA… “he’s about as popular as a toothache today” nice line. Poor Fisi.

Ok, seriously… what’s with all the bits and bobs on these cars?? fuck. Between those and the giant fins… butt ugly. It’s like a crewman from another team played a cruel joke and randomly crazy glued a bunch of spare pieces onto the sidepods. The Renault is particularly hideous.

final lap… thank god… I’m a giant human bobblehead I’m nodding so badly now.

Well, Hami redeemed himself and shook the Chinese monkey off his back. Kimi played the role of good teammate and gifted Massa with those extra points. Everyone else drove around in a big, mindnumbing parade. Of course, there’s still time for the FIA to penalize someone for looking directly into the eyes of one of the Ferrari drivers while walking the pre-grid or something and find some extra points for them in there somewhere.

LOL… you realize how small the drivers are when they walked the Hall of apparently Amazonian Grid Girls!
ooh… more airtime for Lewis’ pretty brother. Daddy Hamilton has relaxed his mouth and jaw (which was looking pretty sphincterous pre-race)

Massa is looking pretty miserable. Suck it up buttercup. Nobody got close enough to you to allow any FIAvourtism this week.

Ok… the post race press conference feed is all screwy and out of sync. That is my cue to pull the chute and go to bed. (I can read the quotes when I get up in a few hours and start my day properly)

I’m officially out of my mind that I’m so desperate for racing that I stayed up for that and am just going to bed at 4:50am… *thunk*

Night kids…


7 responses to “Formula 1 – Shanghai – *live* race blog

  1. Good onya for doing the hard yards, battling ya bod, and doing a real service to the world, and with humour. Big thumbs up!

  2. G’day Geoff! thanks for the thumbs up! Since I’m blind with exhaustion, I’ll take your word for the entertainment value of the above blog! LOL! (am horrified to actually read it when I wake up tomorrow… er… today…)

  3. Well done for staying up, I didn’t manage to get up for the pre-race but was up for the whole ‘race’, if that’s what it was. I’m not sure I could have done a blog in the state you were in!

    I also thought the ITV commentary was a bit flat although in their defence they didn’t have much to talk about. They’ll be more up for it at the next one.

  4. Ok, so it wasn’t just me then… LOL. Although the one fella did have a few funny lines when I could focus on words.

  5. Thank god for Tivo! I got to watch the race at 11. Great job with the live blog at that hour…….I will have to get some tips for the upcoming Surfers race which I will liveblog

  6. hello, haven’t read the entire comentary, just the pre-race and post-race, but I’m pleasently surprised that other ppl see what FIA’s done so far this year, good job m8

  7. Pingback: sports cars fia | Bookmarks URL

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