Unleash the beast…

*blows the dust off the keyboard*
My happy Olympic glow has worn off, so it’s time to unleash the “ragin’ Canadian” me thinks…

This blog is not going to be filled with warm fuzzies, ass kissing or “oh
goody” kumbyfuckingya sentiments. So if you’re all about the “up with
people” cheerleader vibe that seems to be permeating Bloggerville while I’ve been on hiatus, spin thyself around and head back out the
door cause you my friend are in the wrong room…

Now with that out of the way, let’s get this down to it…

So, I don’t know about anyone else, but the end of the 09 season left me
feeling a little, no, a lot, non-plussed.

It used to make me sad when the season came to a close, wondering what the fuck I was going to do with my weekends until the start of the next season.

In 2009 I couldn’t wait for the season to be put out of it’s misery, and ours. Sure there were some bright spots sprinkled here and there, enough to engage the disappearing masses to stick around a little while longer, but mostly it was old, tired, predictable, boring, tedious & frustrating.

I’m not just talking about IndyCar either. All of the AOW series seemed to chug along unimpressively in 09 leaving little reason to keep up & even littler (my word) reason to return. (thus my extended leave)

The major underlying theme of 09, besides the vilifying then deifying of twinkletoes, was “will she or won’t she move to Nascar” Well apparently she will and she has. (sort of)
(Sarcasm) Yay for everyone! (/sarcasm)
So now instead of just IndyCar spending 80% of their marketing budget on “Danican’t the Overrated”, we’ll now have Napcar wasting a good chunk of coin trying to convince the ignorant stock car masses to tune in to watch the anointed one under perform at all their tracks. All Princess Sparkle Pony
all the time. Oi, there’s that headache again…

Unless you live under a rock you were more than aware of the Princess’ ARCA & Nationwide debuts . If you looked and listened closely you might have heard there were one or two other drivers in those races too. The sycophantic ravings of the fanica’s in the booth were both unprofessional and nauseating. I felt like I spent hours listening to DW whack off, and felt dirty for hours afterwards. Get a room man! While I’m man enough (ok, woman enough, whatever…) to admit she held her own in her ARCA debut (and got really lucky with that spin) There were several other drivers out there, of both genders, that also hold their own every week but are done a horrible disservice by the media & broadcast teams. The only good thing about all of this is that there is a small crack in the fluffy bunny & rainbows stepford version of the Danica franchise now that the ink is dry on both contracts, and her evil nemesis Princess Perma Pout is lurking just below the surface. Hmmm… It could become entertaining after all… But enough about Nascrap, moving on…

So here we are on the precipice of 2010… 1 new race that I’m still not convinced is a good thing, 1 extremely tired formula, 2 dominating superteams, many field fillers, half a dozen great drivers without rides, half a dozen mediocre drivers with rides (maybe) and a new CEO that has NEVER even been to a race. (what is it btw with these CEO’s that speak like they gargled Valium before their interviews? Seriously people, get a media coach or something…)

For those willing to suspend reality for 2 more years, the new year saw the reveal of several new cars in development for 2010, including the much hyped and now unveiled “Dildo Wing” er “Delta Wang” er whatever… (I’m still finding it hard to type anything about it with my eyes rolled back so far in my head at it’s mention…) One can only hope that sanity will prevail and one or more of the more reasonable designs from Lola or Swift will be adopted.

Not only is the IndyCar series suffering from lack of, well, everything! But the junior formula’s are in equally dire straights. We are but a couple of weeks from dropping the flag on 2010 and there isn’t one series with a complete line up of teams and drivers. Not surprisingly the Atlantics aren’t going to answer the bell this year. The tactic of going to Europe to sucker er… “test” european teams/drivers into participating was clever though once most of the N.American teams were twice bitten thrice shy when it came to participating and actually receiving something for their effort.
How you enjoying that million dollar payout J-Ed?
Ya that’s what I thought.

The latest kerfuffle that has everyone’s big girl panties in a wad (most of them male ironically) is that the golden child with the pedigreed name, but lackluster track record, is sitting on the sidelines (by choice!) while Milka Duno has been announced for the full monty in 2010 with Uncle Dale.

Hey, if Graham Crackers would rather hold out for the highest bidder on the wink and nod that he’ll be in one of the the red cars in 2011, that’s his prerogative. Just don’t invite us to the pity party because Milk & Donuts seized the opportunity to actually drive a race car this season that you tossed aside.

For all of those saying that Dale should have given him a 1 year contract instead of 2, give your fucking heads a shake. Why should Dale go through the expense and effort to house yet ANOTHER driver who is there by default and who will take his sponsors and bail at the end of one season. Puleese. Good for Dale for not allowing himself to be treated like a doormat. The ride was offered and turned down. Period. I’m sure Milka will be honoured to drive for Dale. And good for him for putting her in the seat for the full season. I bet she will learn a lot under his tutelage.

Note for any other driver putting all of their eggs in one basket based on the promise of something in the future: NEWSFLASH, there IS NO GUARANTEE OF A FUTURE in ANY of these series. Just ask the teams, and drivers, and staff who had the rugs pulled out from under them with the speed and skill of a bullfighter over the last couple of years. ChampCar, FBMW, Atlantics, USF1, etc… etc… etc…

Take what is offered to you, when it is offered to you, because you may not get another chance.

I weep for the future of racing.


9 responses to “Unleash the beast…

  1. It is certainly a sorry state of affairs in North American open wheel. The buyout was supposed to have fixed all of this and yet we still have team closures or mergers. This feels little different to any pre-merger CART or IRL season going way back, with worries of car counts and sponsors. It seems the NASCAR draw is proving too much.

    At least there is a title sponsor willing to put some coin into ‘activation’ so I’m hopeful that’ll bear fruit, yet it is a shame the series is tucked away on a smaller network even if the coverage *is* better.

    Sometimes I wonder if the best thing is to let it implode and start again.

    As for USF1… it had Peter Windsor involved, what did anyone expect? I know he’s respected for his SPEED work but in Europe he’s a bit of a toad for his oily F1 Racing articles. Easy to claim that now of course.

    Welcome back, Meesh. Your input has been missed.

  2. Hey, great to see you blog again, Meesh. 🙂

    I think my key to enjoying this season will be having no expectations. That’s not a preferred method, I know, but it will do. I’ll be having my usual musings on Twitter so that should help minutely. 😛

    That last part is something that gnaws at me no matter how much optimism I have. There just seem to be a bit of a blahness permeating throughout and I hope that’s just temporary.

  3. Glad to hear someone else that isn’t all broken up because Graham might not have a ride this year. Nothing against him, but one driver doesn’t make or break a series and there are hundreds of other drivers at all levels that won’t be racing for the same reason. They don’t have a sponsor. That’s life. It’s not fair. Get over it and move on.

    As for Milka and others, so what if they buy a ride. It’s not like that’s a new concept. Nor is she depriving someone else of a seat. The IndyCar field isn’t full, bring some cash and you can drive a car.

  4. “Up with People cheerleader vibe”?!? What blogs have you been reading? Everything I’ve been reading lately has been pretty short of that.

    That said, I’m with Evan. I’m just glad that racing is coming back around, even if it’s fatally flawed, predictable, processional, and circling the drain (which I don’t really believe). I don’t know. If racing’s on, I watch it. That’s just what I do.

    Anyhow, even in your current grumpy state, I’m glad to have you back. It’s been too long since we’ve had some good rage around here. 🙂

  5. The beast shakes off the cold slumber of silly season hibernation, casts her gaze to the South, and surveys her domain. She is enraged, finding ignorance, sloth, and pestilence at all levels. Her fearsome roars echo across the internet. Fire issues forth from her…
    (Wow – I shouldn’t write comments this late at night!)

    Meesh, you are spot on about young master Rahal. Not signing with Dale Coyne is just short-sighted. And the vaunted red teams have hit hard times too. One of them isn’t even red anymore, and is looking for sponsors! The other red team had less funding in the 2009 season than 2008. Wake up Graham – in these hard times you take what you can get!

  6. Hey you’d be Princess Pouty too if the freakin’ media blew their load chasing you after a 31st place finish!!! She is no different than any competitive guy who expects to be running up front! ESPN’s scall actually read: Danica finishes 31st. Kyle Busch wins race. WTF! That ain’t Danica that the dumbfuck stick ‘n ball media (with an assist from the NAPCAR Daytona mafia)

    As for Graham Rahal: I love all the internet bench racers playing Fantasy Racing Manager. WTF would young Rahal sign a 2 YEAR DEAL to drive a Dale Coyne car that won’t have star engineer, Bill Pappas… just to have a bloody ride? Lets breath in some OXYGEN & pray for some REALITY! GR would be better off driving one of his Dad’s ALMS GT2 BMW’s or heading to Europe & running the ELMS + the LeMans 24 than dickin’ around in a POS (& underfunded) Coyne ride.

    My guess id that new CEO Randy has gotten DCR to drop the two year clause & we will see GR in that car (complete with an out clause if the car was like RHR’s Vision entry…)

  7. You hit the nail on the head, Meesh. I don’t get the delusional fan-bois who think Graham should be jumping at the chance to race for a weekend warrior team – you drive for free now, you’ve established your value and nobody will ever pay you in the future. Sounds like the IRL as a whole – free tickets and red hats for fifteen years makes it awfully tough to sell a ticket once the Hulman Family Tap is turned off.

    The whole damned thing is dead – just bury it already. Nobody will go out of their way to see a field Brazilian (or Venezualian) ride-buyers drive underpowered over-aeroed barges through the streets of their nearest secondary-market city – be they fans, sponsors, or media. (side – even TMS lost their long-time sponsors this week for their IRL circle-jerk!) I truly pity those who are still emotionally invested in this mess. It’s time to move on until someone can bring real racing back to the streets and road courses of North America. In the meantime, I’m spending my time on other things. Anyone want to meet me in Montreal for the last real open-wheel race in the western hemisphere?

  8. [dusts off the ol’ FUCK bombs]


    “Take what is offered to you, when it is offered to you, because you may not get another chance.”

    That’s what I’m doing here. Offer gratefully accepted. Fuckin’ eh.

    (Good to have you back, Meesh.)

  9. This website isn’t going to be filled with warm fuzzies? No shit!

    I am on Pat Ws/BooBoos team here: I am ready to watch it implode. I couldn’t give two small shits at the end of last year either. Maybe we should be cheering for the well-endowed tricycle. It should end this mess sooner rather than later. Even before this clusterfuck, once TG and his checkbook was gone, it was hard for me to see the business model the rest of the board had in mind.

    Regarding Rahal, I can’t say I blame him. Ruining your brand in substandard equipment isn’t the way up (not that his brand was flying that high to begin with). It’s a gamble to sit out but not necessarily a bad one. I remember everyone saying Will Power was nutso for not taking a “real” ride but it worked out well for him.

    Welcome back, Meesh! I’ve been waiting for your cold, fucking pricklies for a long fucking time!

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