Happy Friday. Here’s a look back at what got everyone’s panties in a wad this week:
(was just easier to spit it all into one post)
Warning: Brassy Level 10
So… NAPCAR sure made the most of their new
show pony … er show Sparkle Pony.
It was all Danica, all the time. 24/7 coverage of her during “Speedweek”
Hell, I got bombarded by more Danistar news/tidbits daily than I did when she was in IndyCar, and I hadn’t watched one minute of Nascar coverage on tv or online until the Juan Pablo CarBQ.
I had to have a little empathy for the NASCAR fans of the other 42 drivers on the grid. Welcome to IndyCar with Fenders boys and girls. Y’all might as well get on the Dayglo green bandwagon now, cause once it’s in motion there is no stopping it, and it will only frustrate you trying to fight it.
NASCAR 2012: Danica and the other guys
The one bright spot this week was that the coverage momentarily shifted from Ms. Patwreck (man she tore up a lot of equipment last weekend) to Brad Keselowski and his creative use of his cellphone during the red flag.
What are the chances that the series whose demographic is misconceptually (my word, deal with it) identified as beer bellied, mullet sporting,”good ol boys” barbecuing in the parking lot, would give the rest of the world of sports a good old-fashioned ASS WHOOPING when it comes to the use of social media?
That’s right. Throughout the broadcast, the booth boys, amidst all their down home, twangy word play, managed to spit out “tweeter” handles (as DW called them) and showed actual graphics, with names, hash tags, total followers, etc… WHAT?!
Oh, but it gets better! During the red flag, the aforementioned Brad Keselowski (@keselowski) tweeted a picture of the view from his car! After we all picked up our jaws, and stopped making fun of the fact that in NASCAR drivers basically have a mini cooler full of stuff in their cars (phones, hats, sunglasses, etc..) we watched the magic happen.
He went from already having a sweet fan base of Twitter followers to a GAZILLION! ok… not quite that many, but you get the picture. Not only was he engaging with the fans, but it gave the broadcast team something to talk about (besides Danica) during the extended clean up.
NASCAR capitalizing on this of course made HUGE news, particularly in the mainstream media. (hey, it was a slow night, awards season is over, we had a jet engine explode into a fireball, a driver tweeting from his car, and the only thing Danica did on Monday night worthy of a close up was walk across the infield to the porta-potty during the red flag)
So why was NASCAR able to capitalize on Monday’s events? Because they were prepared. They already had the infrastructure in place to take advantage of the situation and roll with it.
The patting on the back and kudos to NASCAR also subsequently caused many in the IndyCar fan base to curl up into the fetal position and wail “But we did it FIRST!!”
Boofuckingwho kids! Just cause you did it first, doesn’t mean you did it best or correctly for that matter. And while I applaud the efforts of everyone who busts their asses to promote the series/drivers/races/teams on twitter and in the blogosphere, let’s face it, it’s masturbatory at best.
We’re essentially convincing each other how great the thing WE ALREADY LOVE is.
Unadulterated, unfiltered truth?
It’s not up to US to pick up the ball and run with it. Shit rolls downhill. In other words, unless IndyCar itself makes it a priority and devotes a great deal of manpower & money into making it happen properly, then we’re pissing in the wind. Sure, IndyCar, and pretty much every team/driver/race/ has a twitter stream and w/hashtag, but it’s not being used effectively. If the powers that be were smart (and that can be a debatable topic some days) they would be HARD at work RIGHT FUCKING NOW preparing for the season and putting the foundation in place (tv graphics/metrics and measuring/social media plan of execution, etc….)
23 days til the season opener, but who’s counting.
“Don’t call me sexy, but don’t call me a Bitch either”
GMAFB. First of all, anyone who’s spent anytime near Princess Pouts-a-lot over the last couple of years knows that what that reporter “inferred” (he didn’t actually call her anything. Another B word, that’s not beautiful could have been “Bratty” for all we know) is TRUE a good 80% of the time. Hell, I’m a bitch 90% of the time. Big fucking deal. And lets face it, a lot of the boy drivers are little bitches too. I guess cause she’s following the nicey nice hearts, flowers and fluffy bunny chapter of her NASCAR introduction Script/Brand manual, the bitch moniker seems harsh to the unknowing masses or the Fanica’s. Give her a couple of months of hammering the dents out of her fenders, and dealing with DNFs, and the dude in Cali won’t be the only one cleverly disguising insults.
I am curious though, how many reporters were reprimanded/fined/suspended for “inferring” that Kyle Busch was a complete ASSHOLE last season? I’m guessing none…
Double standards hail supreme!!
*Sidebar: I’ve seen some pretty nasty things in print flying about the interwebs this week. Here’s the thing. You all know I’m not a Fanica. I think she is mostly hype and very little actual substance, especially when it comes to results. (and face it, it’s about results is it not?! Male or female??) I want the drivers I support to become popular because they kicked ass ON track, not because they pimped themselves to the highest bidder off track. BUT… all that said, if she couldn’t actually drive the damn cars, she wouldn’t be out there. So all of you “she’s a girl, so she can’t drive” or “she stole the ride from a boy” tiny penis sporting misogynist out there need to take your heads out of your asses and come up from the basement at mommy’s house once in a while to see that we’ve indeed “come a long way baby”
And speaking of little bitches…
How about this little gem from Eddie Gossage:
“I’m really disappointed and don’t know why IndyCar drivers feel the need to constantly damage the sport. You know, engineers have told us over and over that the current fence design is the best that technology provides us today. But if you were a sponsor, if you were a fan, if you were a TV network _ why would you get involved with IndyCar racing if they can’t tell you today where they’re going to race tomorrow? And the drivers _ the spokespersons for the sport _ are tearing it down? So, it’s absolutely irresponsible of those drivers, and they deserve _ because of the way they conduct themselves sometimes _ they deserve where they stand now in the food chain of motorsports.”
Really Eddie? Give your ego-swollen noggin a fucking shake there dude.
Yes, clearly striving for safety is hideously destructive to the sport of motor racing. Good thing IndyCar is so fucking irresponsible, otherwise we wouldn’t have safety teams and SAFER barriers, and dozens of drivers across many series who WALKED AWAY from serious accidents on many tracks, including YOURS, because of IndyCar’s pioneering irresponsibility.
Instead of being such a colossal JACKTARD and blowing off their concerns with pithy quotes and self promotion, why not actually speak with the drivers and the series and find a compromise. Better yet, strap your ass into one of those cars, with the potential to become a projectile hurling towards one of those “best that technology can provide” exposed posts, and tell us how safe you feel.
And now for something completely different…
Something that isn’t making me spit nails or laugh maniacally because of, is the signing of Rubens Barrichello this week with KV Racing Technology. Not only does that put more international eyes on the sport (oh, good luck with TV coverage Mates!) but it also ups the ante competition wise. I think the combo of Kanaan and Rubens will be formidable, and if EJ can soak up all of that knowledge and follow their lead (which he was already doing with TK last year) well, I think KV Racing will be one of the most competitive teams on track this year. Lots of trophy hoisting in their future me thinks.
And with that, I’m outta here for the weekend. (would it surprise you to know I’m a little pissed off this week) (would it be more surprising that NONE of the above is actually the thing I’m most pissed off about?… Ya… saving that for a future epic bridge-burning swan song… )