How do you measure, measure a year…
In daylights, in sunsets In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, a year in the life?
I kept waiting for the moment when I could sit down and just write this, with dry eyes and clarity of thought. I thought that moment was now, but just like a few hours ago, and a day ago, and a week ago, and a month ago, the minute I began to type… the second I let my guard down… my throat tightened and my breath quickened, and my eyes betrayed my stoic resolve, spilling hot tears down my cheek once again. Continue reading
Oh universe, I so enjoy when you toy with me like this.
My 500th post falls in the Month of May. Amusing.
So, what to write on this momentous occasion? Well, I was planning a Part 2 on yesterday’s post, but I guess I’ll hold that for now and instead plot my thoughts on my upcoming trip to the 500 instead.
Seems more appropriate.
Truthfully, more than anything lately, as I prepare for my trip, I’ve once again been thinking of Dan.
It’s still strange to me that someone I was barely acquainted with had such a monumental impact on my life. But he did. And still does. Now, however, I’m finding myself smiling more when I think of him. Continue reading
First of all, if anyone has the audacity to question or judge your grieving process, give them a message from me:
“Take your fucking head out of your ass jerkwad, we’ll grieve however the hell we please!”
In other words, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Likewise there is no one way to grieve. Trust me, in my 46 yrs on this planet I’ve experienced a lot of loss, some more recent than others.
Each time my grieving process is different. My needs are different.
And each time, some “good intentioned” jacktard has questioned my process.
I’m not crying enough. I’m crying too much. I’m taking too long. I’m over it too quickly.
I see a lot of my friends struggling with their own process. Stop beating yourself up! Just let it happen in a way that is organic to you. (more on this later…)
Slightly related to this, last night I was asked “why are we having a fundraiser for 2 kids who’s father made 2.5 million dollars” in a conversation with someone, the counter argument being, “why not raise money for head injuries”
Totally valid question.
My answer, in a couple of 140 character tweets was as follows:
‘I think it’s just a knee jerk reaction by a shocked community that feels helpless…People feel the need to do “something”, want to help in some way. The auction started w/one driver (Graham) and snowballed. Some people are going to donate, some are going to buy, some of us won’t be able to do more than buy a sticker/wristband but selfishly we will all feel “better” for having done “something” which will appease our “guilt” for surviving. Make sense?”
Today I had time to think about it a little more on my commute, and I wish to expand on my answer. Continue reading
“stay down Rocky!”
You know those scenes, in those boxing movies, where the boxer is bloodied and beaten to a pulp, yet keeps somehow stumbling to his feet only to take another devastating blow? Well, I’m laying on the mat wondering how… wondering where the strength to get back up is going to come from, as I reel from the latest sucker punch life has cold cocked me with. (it’s been a tough couple of months personally)
Selfishly, this post will be more about my perspective than a retrospective of Dan (there are many awesome, and much better written tomes out there for that, in fact Robin Miller and Marshall Pruett’s pieces today come immediately to mind)
So bear with me, as this is the first time I am attempting to unjumble my brain and throw some thoughts down on “paper” in more than 140 characters since yesterday, so this could get lengthy/wordy and non-sequential… Continue reading
LOL! Poor Robin… Kanaan uses him to stir the pot and secure a better deal.
Yes, I truly believe that what Robin printed the other day was the truth as he knew it. Drivers, teams, owners, all use the media to fight their battles and force the issues and outcomes to suit their particular needs/desires. Robin is an easy “get” cause he just loves to play the role of the cat that swallowed the canary. Remember the defiant rants against Robin by Kalkhoven earlier this year… then the cheekily grinning Kalkhoven pretty much admitting later on Windtunnel that he had fed Robin the info…
So for all of those poo-pooing Robin for getting it wrong… You’re wrong.
It will be interesting to see how Tony and AGR spin this this afternoon.
Bottom line is, hope the money was worth it TK. Cause unless they put “The Princess” and “The Least” on a leash or on a time out everytime they fuck up your race, you’ve got how many more years of this same bullshit to put up with?? I hope you had a clause put in that you could determine their punishment… LOL.
So, what does this all mean? Well, If I were Dan Wheldon, I would be signing my contract in a hurry, cause unless the Chipster was upping his team to 3 cars… you my tile-toothed friend may have been pounding the pavement a month from now.
OH… and one more thing Tony… you said this:
“This is what I wanted it to be,” said Kanaan, who has 13 IndyCar Series victories and won the 2004 championship – AGR’s first of three. “I’ve been here for six years and it will be another five so hopefully I’ll be able to have a nice retirement party by the time I finish my contract. I’m happy that I know where I am going to be.”
Talk to Paul Tracy about feeling all comfy and secure with a 5 yr “retirement” contract and graceful exit strategy at the end of your open wheel career… just sayin is all…